My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
