Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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