If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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