I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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