apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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