i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
nutella sex= disaster
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
