Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize