I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
