This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
