There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
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It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
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It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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