Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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