I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
