Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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