Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
