What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
