That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
