did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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