He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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