sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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