She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
