just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
