I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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