You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
