I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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