Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
