oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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