Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
