During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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