Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
