Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
