grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
