Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
this will be a night to untag.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
