I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
