Welp...herpes.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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