YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
