My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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