Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
