plz talk dirty to me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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