I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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