I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
