Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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