I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
