I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
a search helicopter?!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize