i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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