i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
