I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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