I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
How naked do you want me to be?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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