she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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