I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
where am i from again
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dick very happy bro
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
