Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
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Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
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Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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