I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
