so let's talk penis.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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