U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My vagina just recognized that song.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
