I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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