What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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