lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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