I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
