girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
