that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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