Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
