I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
