he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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