i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
