I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
