we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
