You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
that's an acceptable place to lick
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
