Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
